About Not Fighting in The Good War

When a documentary called "The Good War and Those Who Refused to Fight It" came out several years ago, I wrote an article for History News Network about the conscientious objectors of WWII. 

My Uncle Harvey, now 91 years old and my last living uncle, was a CO, and he's taught me a lot about the heroism and courage he and his fellows objectors showed and the abuse they endured. 

"Like combat soldiers, many conscientious objectors were willing to sacrifice themselves for their country. However, they were simply unwilling to kill for it," the PBS site dedicated to the documentary says.  These were men who refused to kill other young men like themselves because, as my uncle said, "They had never done anything against me.  I had no reason to kill them."  Harvey was deeply religious and a philosopher who refused to compromise his beliefs, and chose conscientious objection instead.  It wasn't an easy way to go.  There were 37,000 COs in WWII, and some served their entire service in prison.

"World War II legal conscientious objectors had two choices: alternative work in the Civilian Public Service camps or non-combatant service in the Armed Forces. The CPS camps became incubators for many of the techniques of non-violent resistance used later in the civil rights and peace movements. Unsatisfied with the menial work assignments, the lack of financial support and the poor treatment they received in CPS camps, many men left the camps in protest and joined their comrades behind bars."

He married my aunt and shortly thereafter was sent off to a Civilian Public Service camp, by himself, to work in the forests at hard labor.  "In CPS they would be required to work nine-hour days, six days a week at hard labor, and were expected to pay the government $35 a month for their room and board."  Some COs spent the entire war in the camp, and some weren't released until 1947, two years after the war ended.

When he was sent to work in a mental hospital in New Jersey, Aunt Loraine joined him and worked in the hospital also, giving birth to their only child there.

Back then, in the '40s, mental hospitals truly were the Dickensian snake pits that have been depicted in old black and white movies.  The patients were often psychotic and often abused, with the cause and effect lost in the tangle; my uncle was one of a group of hospital aides who rebelled against the onerous practices that were used against patients, and they were able to get them changed into more therapeutic and caring procedures.  This was actually the beginning of modern mental health practices.

Other COs were smoke jumpers, doing dangerous service by jumping into raging forest fires and putting them out before they could spread to farms and cities.

Still others were forced into medical experiments that were unethical, and that maimed them for life or killed them.

This is a photo of a CO before he was forced to participate in a starvation experiment.

This is the same CO after the starvation experiment.

When Harvey came home on his infrequent furloughs, and after the war, he and other COs, as well as their wives and families, were spit on, refused service at stores and restaurants, yelled at on the street and generally treated like traitors, often by people who knew them and with whom they had grown up.  They were refused jobs and ostracized in every way possible.

It was an excruciating time for all Americans, those days after Pearl Harbor, and for everyone on the globe after the rise of Hitler.  Different heroes worked out its implications in different ways.

This Memorial Day, be sure to give some thought to the unsung heroes who also served without the glory or the parades, and who sought to do their best to make this country great.

As the creators of the Peace Movement, they should be honored as our nation's soul.

Behold the Woman

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.  

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.  

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. 

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.  

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. 

~Author unknown, but probably a woman

Doing Good and Doing It Right: "Do No Harm" Not Good Enough

Since the turn of the 20^th century, physicians have commonly used the adage, “First, do no harm”, as their ethical touchstone.  Its original primary power was to stop doctors from experimenting with risky procedures on vulnerable patients; sometimes, it would seem, doing nothing is better for a person than treating them at all, as in “The treatment was worse than the cure.”  Just because you have a hammer, everything isn’t a nail.

Primum non nocere has migrated into other professions such that you may hear it used in mental health, universities, nonprofit businesses, clean energy, animal research and even some for-profit corporations.  It has nestled so deeply into our collective unconscious that we don’t question its goodness and universal utility; for those whom it stops from wreaking havoc on others, it has been a good and trusted servant.  But is that enough, in our current situation?

Is “doing no harm” a strong enough societal vessel to get us where we choose to go now, or do we need something more affirming, directional and robust?  Don’t we need to be assertively “doing lots of good” to counter the massive problems we have created in the past several centuries?

 In this era of massive governmental and business corruption frequently justified by someone’s delusion of “the greater good” (e.g., invading Iraq, or police brutality), or by a common projection of “everyone’s doing it, and it doesn’t hurt anyone” (e.g., huge corporate bonuses, some given to the very perpetrators of our current economic debacle, or the serfdom of women caught in the sex trade, where there are supposedly no victims), real pain and suffering abound for innocent people caught in the crossfire.

Too many are hungry, ill, and homeless with no job prospects or medical care on the horizon for the negatively-framed “do no harm” to be nearly potent enough for our screwed-up world.  Too many are confused and emotionally adrift in a society where media continually trumpet, “Be sure to get yours – then get out!”

We must change our consciousness into an active and positive “do good as much as you possibly can”, in order to bring our world out of the literal and figurative smog.  Merely not hurting anyone never really was good enough – now we can see the truth of this everywhere we look across our depleted landscape, where whole species are going extinct by default and where water is being bought and sold to the highest bidder as part of the traditional capitalist system.  “Do no harm” won’t stop these freight trains.

Our greatest resource for changing this mindset and creatively and truly nourishing our world resides within ourselves.  This is meant in a literal and powerfully creative sense.

We know from the work of UO emeritus physics professor Amit Goswami  that there is a universal level within each of us that is creative in unlimited proportions, that allows us to see and work in the world with new eyes and possibilities.  It’s a level that unites us all in the strength of caring about our world.

That level obviously is not the level of our everyday world, in which we’re rushing, worrying, picking up kids, and looking for work.   Rather, the universal level of creative possibilities is the one where we’re quiet, breathing deeply, and reflecting inward to our hearts, into the space between thoughts.

The Institute of Heartmath provides research that showcases the primacy of the heart in this journey of healing the world and doing good, and that doing good is actually good and pleasurable for you.  Heartmath says, “Sincere caring can have a profound and immediate impact on an individual’s physical state.”  This impact encompasses “greater energy, better immune system function and improved cognitive ability, including more clarity and effective decision-making,” as well as slower aging, to name a few of its components.  Doing good is really good for you.

We have some deep work to do to change our passive societal stance toward corruption, violence, discrimination, poverty and all the other ills, into an active searching for and embracing of solutions that build community and make us all strong.  When we use the “doing good” muscles together, we become stronger and wiser together.  And as we grow together, doing harm drops more and more from even being considered as a viable action. 

Love may not quite be all we need, but we certainly, actively, need it now.  Loving our neighbor, more than just “doing no harm”, is great medicine.

Stuffaholism - Cured At Last

It's a red letter day here in the Soulscompanion household, one that all women yearn for and will hate me for - the SO is organizing, recycling and throwing out his long-accumulated junk (we're talking decades here) ALL OVER THE HOUSE, while I have the computer, and a beer, all to myself.  Ahhhhhhhhhh!  It's absolutely scintillating.

Don't hate me too much - this has come at the great price of some of my best nagging, threats and dramatic meltdowns ("I can't take this any more!  I CAN'T TAKE THIS ..... ANY......MORE!!!!!!!  [pounding on counter, tears and snot flowing like...tears and snot]  I'm finding my own apartment if you don't do something about this within a month!")  Whew.  There were some cuss words in there too, and he deserved them, but I won't say them here, with a tip of the chapeau to Wearmanyhats.

I am no prissy fuss budget - I've been known to make my messes - but, as with most women, I CLEAN THEM UP - EVENTUALLY.  I have my own mild case of OCD (CDO if spelled in proper alphabetic order), and at some point, it all becomes too much and I do something about it.  And I do it right.  I make it right.  You all know that, when you write, you have to have some sense of beauty, peace, and order around you to be able create anything readable. 

Not the SO.  He can go on piling things on forever, until the piles are works of art that no one can disturb, on pain of pulling back a bloody stump.  He was even devolving into 3rd grade behavior like leaving dirty dishes all over the house, and politely piling them on the counter for me to do something with.  I don't think so.  It may be Mother's Day tomorrow, but I ain't your mother.  And I don't think your mother let you get away with this sort of behavior.  If she did, shame on her. 

The SO is a bona fide master-level, black belt stuffaholic.  He can't throw anything away unless you pry it from his bloody, clenched hands. 

He couldn't go to the store without bringing home 50 of something we only needed 5 of, because he is also a black belt power shopper who knows all the angles of squeezing a penny until it screams, and of course sometimes this entails buying in bulk.  That was the excuse he often used.  He would also bring home "finds" that he picked up along the road, that he would swear he had a surefire use for. 

Not any more.

Now, either I go shopping with him, dogging him every step of the way - I have threatened to get one of those kiddie leashes in XL and apply it to him - or I send him off with dire warnings about what awaits him at home if he comes back with too much, or in some cases, with ANYTHING.  You don't want to hear - a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do.  And yes, some of it had to do with body parts.  (Have you heard that Lorena Bobbit is back in the news again?  ;-)  )

Stuffaholism, in my opinion, often has to do with an attempt to heal childhood woundings, those of not getting enough of something that was really needed or wanted, usually primal.  I think it also has to do with building a fortress of stuff around yourself that protects you from the outside world and protects you from getting hurt from not getting filled up all over again.

I also think I'm frickin' sick of it!  I'm sick of doing what I could to create order, peace and some sense of sanity in little pockets and corners of the house - the ones that I could manage to control.

Oh trust me, we've gone the compassion route, the understanding route, the counseling route, the give-it-time route, the I'll-help-you route. 

Now we're on the kick-butt highway, and the cruising is super-fine.  I'm liking my view.  I'm liking that I have a view at last.  I can find my fireplace now, and I can walk somewhere without tripping over boxes and other crap.  Nice.  So this is my house!!!

We bought this house partly so that I could have my private practice and give workshops here - there is wonderful space on the first floor for just those activities.  Now I have hope that that will finally happen, and that I will be inspired and able to decorate to my heart's content, because I can now see the walls, the floors and the furniture - oh! there was a chair under there?

Yep, it's a beautiful day.  Before you feel too sorry for the SO, which hopefully you don't, because he's deserved all the grief he's gotten, I'm taking him to a fancy restaurant tonight to celebrate his birthday..... which was a few days ago, NOT today - even I wouldn't make someone clean on their birthday. 

We're also going to reinforce his magnificent work today, as he is doing a fine, fine job.  And he's liking the fruits of his labor also, so much so that it just may stick.

Uh, could you bring me another beer when you come back by this way, honey?  There's a dear.  Cute little apron!

The Blessing of the Weeds

There is nothing better than working in the yard pulling up old dead brown stalks and leaves while inhaling all the pungent earthy scents of the new plants and the awakening soil, unless it's doing it while your honey is out there too humming along on his mowers.

I am so my father's daughter.  Dad was a champeen weeder - you could see him out there all summer, late into the gloaming, with his butt up in the air and his spade ripping out the dandelions and chickweed.  He was methodical, meditative with his weeding, taking his time to do it right, and also to be alone with his thoughts, I suspect.  He was a farmer at heart, so this was also his only time to be one with nature before he had to head back to his cubicle again. I always hated that he never got his farm, mostly because my mom vetoed that, but he got a pretty cool suburban home with a big yard in later years.  And he got his garden with pumpkins, tomatoes, beans and cukes. 

I always go back to my childhood yard in my head when I'm working outside - can't help it, it's automatic with the first whiff of grass and the sun hot on my back.  It's a happy feeling memory for me, invigorating me and putting things in perspective. 

I tend to weed faster and less carefully than my father.  It's not the 1950's any more but the speeded up 21st century, and I'm anxious to see the yard look better - as usual, we've dragged our feet about getting started with the yearly cleanup, though I can blame the rains, the cold, and my partner's recent accident for that too.  I'm so tired of the old brown fern leaves covering so much of the new green stuff, and I could just hear the young shoots thanking me for freeing them up and allowing more air and sunshine in.  You're welcome, my darlings.

I got a LOT done in two hours of concentrated weed attack, until my back and knees yelled Uncle so loud I had to listen.  It's so lovely and satisfying to look back on what I did, and to ruthlessly plan the swath I'm going to cut the next time.  Ah, the next time! 

Finally, it's warm enough in the Pacific Northwest to get out in the yard in the cool and quiet of the early morning - that magical time when the fairies come out, along with the deer and the cats and the turkeys, and sometimes a raccoon or three. 

I find that time especially healing.  I make up in my mind that this is when I'm most able to be authentically and completely myself, when all the organics in me can join directly with and breathe in all the organics in the world, and there really is no seam, no division, no conflict.  Being here now.  I am the world in a fluid, non-grasping, hummingbird kind of way.

I'm pleasantly tired now and ready for the week ahead, and feeling blessed to be just where I am.  Thank you, sacred weeds, for connecting me with my dad, my childhood, my honey, nature, the world and my Self again.   Thank you so much.

The Economics of Toilet Training: Happy Mother's Day

I've recently joined the Board of a new childcare center here in Eugene that's going to be revolutionary in several ways.

The center was created particularly to provide a strong helping hand to Eugene's large Hispanic community, which is often the target of discrimination and neglect, and to those in the Anglo community who choose to come into closer community and friendship with them.

Not only will we offer childcare that is dual immersion in Spanish and English, as well as business incubation with a number of services that will lead to a collectiva of thriving small businesses out of the center, as well as a center that is family- and community-oriented with lots of events, workshops and opportunities...

We're opening a Time Bank. 

A "time bank" is a concept that began several decades ago and is now taking off like a shot in this diciest economy since the Great Depression. 

A time bank is a system for "banking" your time in service (like volunteer work) to another time bank member; for each hour of service that you give, you receive a Time Dollar, which you can redeem for services from another Time Bank member, or at a number of businesses and organizations that have joined the Bank.

For instance, you could spend 2 hours caring for someone's elderly mother, and receive 2 Time Dollars, which you could spend for 2 hours of housecleaning, or painting, or, in the case of our new center, childcare.

We'll also be banking ROCS - Robust Complementary Community Currency System - in which the highly skilled work of an electrician, say, or a doctor could be traded at a negotiated rate for work that is less skilled, like clearing brush.  One hour of a dentist's work might be traded for five hours of yard work, so that the economic rate is "complementary".

Another huge plus: Everything that's transacted within a Time Bank is tax-free according to the IRS, mostly because the economy isn't based on the value of a US dollar, but on the work itself.

Now, you're asking yourself where does the toilet training come in?

The answer is - everywhere.

Edgar Cahn, the creator of time banking, did so because of and for the Core Economy.  "The Core Economy is not Wall Street or Main Street; it is the economy of family, neighborhood, kith and kin," he said. 

According to Cahn, many economists have acknowledged that "40-50%  of productive economic activity takes place outside of the market and is not measured by traditional indicators." 

And the great majority of that work is accomplished by mothers and other caretakers, usually women, who teach us how to walk and talk, to tell the truth, and to avoid harming ourselves and others.

Futurist Alvin Toffler framed the penultimate question showing what economists overlook, and put it to CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies:

“How productive do you think your work force would be if it was not toilet trained?”

"That’s a useful if disconcerting starting point for re-assessing what we value and measure as 'productive labor,'" Cahn said.

It's well known that "women's work", especially child care, is trashed on Wall Street and doesn't do much better on Main Street.  It's underpaid, or not paid at all, under-valued, and demeaned as not being work at all.

Mothers in particular know differently.  When you're talking diapers, toilet training, and personal hygiene, it's literally a shitload of work.  And if it's not done sensitively and with a great deal of love and skill, it can scar a little person for life.

There is even a movement to create "diaper banks", something I'm particularly passionate about, as one of the first things that cannot be afforded in a poor economy by single and poorly-paid mothers, often of color, is diapers, which become reused even when they weren't meant to be.

In Cahn's timebank economy, there are no "throw-away people" - everyone is a productive and valued member, and everyone can contribute and become a member, because everyone does work in the Core Economy.

The eldest member of a community can read to toddlers, who will be entranced.  Children can tutor younger children, wash and dry dishes, rake the yard, and assist caring adults with other tasks.

And all these services can earn Time Dollars, which the recipient can turn around and "spend" on a service that is meaningful to them.  We're talking with our electric company, our bus company, the city and county governments, stores and landlords to get them to participate with us in the time bank economy.  Businesses need yard work, cleaning, catering and other services too, that Time Dollars could pay for.

So a rousing Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and women who have provided mothering in so many ways - you're more important than we know, or perhaps than we CAN know as things are currently structured. 

Time banks are helping to change that, now and into the future.

[Imagine an upside down exclamation mark here]Si se puede!

Mega Social Media Networking for Annie

Something Annie's Grrrlls can all do right away --

*Everytime you write on a social media site, send an email to friends, write in a blog - write about Annie, our go-to girl for our effort, and put in a link to her page.  This could be very powerful.  We could get millions of people tuned into Annie, and to PNN, and to us!  As writers, organizers, way cool people LOL.  As we used to say in the '60s, "Let's get aw-gun-ized!"

*Think about joining a web site that publishers might go to, like linkedin.com - Annie needs to join pronto, then we can all hook up with her there, write about her and RECOMMEND her out the wazoo.  I'm already there and I really like the site.  They have writing groups where we can promote her also.  Think about this!  This could be big.  This could get big attention.  Does anyone know other good sites where publishers might go?

*Also think about the mega-level:  the revolutionary nature of us doing This (collaborating from all over the world, supporting Annie, organizing our own compilation) online, in front of the whole world - the strength of vulnerability, so to speak.  That's something that is potentially very newsworthy and write-worthy.  It's organic, fun, positive, all women (mostly - hi mgm!), and we don't take no for an answer.  We know we've got a great "product" that people will love when they tune into her writing.

More as I think about it.  Gotta pay some bills today.